Vigil II
by Avirra
Summary: The boys bring Murdock back to Chicago and Mother Baracus following 'Back Into the Darkness'.


**Vigil II**

It's hard to say how many prayers I said after I found out my Murdock was missing. There are times I feel the distance between me and my boys so bad that it seems they may as well be on the moon. But knowing one of them was somewhere all by himself? That made it so much worse. Not ashamed to admit that I wept. It was not an easy time.

The time passed slowly. So very slowly. Every time the phone rang, I thought it might be them. May sound foolish to anyone that's never had someone lost, but I was afraid to leave the phone even long enough to go to the bathroom. Just knew in the back of my head that if I couldn't get to the phone in time, it would mean something bad. Strange thoughts prey on your mind when you're full of worry. Thank the Lord for my neighbors. They brought me groceries and Karen, bless her, took time to help me watch that phone so that I could get a little rest without the fear that I'd sleep too hard to hear it ring.

Just a little over three weeks since I knew for sure my Baby was in danger, I got the call from Hannibal. If I could have crawled through that phone line to kiss him, I would have. I knew it was going to be bad though. If the man was trying to give me warnings about how Murdock was going to look after how he looked that last time? Then Bosco tells me he's guessing four weeks to recover? Well, the prayers started all over again, but this time, they were for strength. No matter how he was looking, he was alive. He'd get better.

I suppose my real first indication of how bad it was going to be was when I overheard the soft argument in the hallway. They were arguing about him walking? That child was out there fretting about worrying me too much if he didn't come in on his own two feet. I swear, he and Bosco may just as well be born brothers, they're both so stubborn. But just like now, I never know quite whether I should hug them or swat them for it.

I decided the issue by opening the door, startling all four of them. Oh, I know that my Scooter is a lot bigger than Baby even on a good day for both of them, but today? Baby was so pale and thin standing next to him with Scooter supporting him. So frail like a strong wind would pick him up and swirl him away.

I sincerely hope that I covered my shock with my fussing at them all for standing out in the hallway. Moving over to Murdock, I wanted to hold him tight, but I'd been warned about his ribs, so I just opened my arms and let him hold onto him as hard as he wanted. And let me tell you, that was pretty hard. I could feel the tremors that were shaking him and I barely heard him whisper, _"I'm so glad you weren't a dream." _It wasn't a weak whisper though, just a soft one and full of joy. It gave me hope.

It took awhile to actually get everyone inside. Hannibal and Face just picked up the bags and moved around us while Bosco stood protectively over the two of us as I just made soothing noises to Baby until he finally gave a slightly embarrassed laugh and let us get him out of the hallway. He really could walk well enough, but the trouble was that he tired out quickly. He sure couldn't afford to lose any more weight either. Well, I had the cure for that. I helped take care of my grandmother after she had trouble putting weight back on after a long sickness. Small meals, but lots of them. Never too much in the stomach at one time, but never letting that stomach get empty either.

Those brown eyes were bright and trying to take in everything while we sat at the table then I looked over all four of them and said the shortest prayer I'd said in a month. _Thank you. _Number of words don't matter. It's the sincerity behind them that does.

Didn't take a lot of food to fill that tiny stomach yet so it wasn't long before I shooed him and Face into my room for a nap. When Hannibal called to let me know they'd found him, he'd also said we'd need to have a long talk. Away from Murdock.

Not only a long talk, but a hard one. Hannibal sat across from me, but Bosco stayed by my side as they quietly told me what all happened. Not just these past six weeks, but years back over in Vietnam. Those things that Bosco never mentioned. Made me want to cry for all of them. But I didn't. Not then. Someday, I'm sure I will when I'm by myself and thinking over all that I know now. I wouldn't cry in front of them because it already bothered them so much to be telling me, but they were afraid that if they didn't, I wouldn't know how to deal with it if Murdock started having nightmares.

They told me some of the things that Decker did over there. They told me some of the things that they did over there. The things done to them over there. I could tell that they had left out a lot and even so, it was an awful tale. Neither of them were looking me in the eyes when they finally finished talking. Startled me when I realized how long they had been speaking. It was near midnight. Not that it mattered. I didn't think that any of the three of us would sleep that night.

It went so quiet. I ran over everything I heard again in my mind before I got up from the couch, giving Bosco's hand a light squeeze before I moved over to Hannibal. Those past weeks had been an awful strain on him, not that a man like him admits such things. I remembered the first time I spoke to him like this. It was when I told him about how much it had bothered me for my son to be out there by himself. I can even remember what I said to him, _"I sleep a whole lot better now, knowing that he's not out there alone. He's with his family." _That was all in my mind when I spoke again.

"Only you know how hard it was to tell me all of that, but I know it wasn't easy. And I know you are likely all worried about how I will handle all of this. But I want to say this, Hannibal Smith. You four have seen and felt some of the worst examples of cruelty that mankind has to offer and yet? You haven't lost your compassion. You haven't lost your humanity. I have never been prouder to know anyone in my life."

I held out a hand to him and he grasped it with both of his as I brought my other hand over as well and laid it on top of our joined hands. We just held one another there that way for a long minute. Neither of us said another thing. We didn't have to. I knew that for as long as he was able, he'd take care of my boys. Our boys.


End file.
